- so, i want to tell you whatportia and i did this weekend, okay? you probably thinkcelebrities, you know, do wild things likego to parties and stay out all night long,and then go home, and count their money,and, um, usually, but what we didthis weekend, um, hey listen, hold on to your buttson this one.
we went mattress shopping. yeah. ah. whoo! ah!whoo! ah! whoo! ah! whoo!ah! it was exciting. so i don't knowthe last time that you bought a mattress, butboy, they've come a long way.
when you're a kid, you don't really think aboutmattresses, right? you just have a bed. i had a twin bed, but it didn't lookanything like me, and, um, but when you get older, you realize there's so manydifferent type of mattresses. you have the twin,you have the queen, the king, the california king,
and if you don't knowthe difference, one of them, the kingand the california king, one is wider and longer--no. wider and not--one is longer, and one is wider. one's longer and... one's longer and wider. i'm still talkingabout mattresses, and, anyway,
one is wider, anyway, so here's the thing. they're different things. and they're now--it's not just the length, the height of the mattresses,have you noticed? they just keep gettingbigger and bigger 'cause they have a pillow top,which, you know, i get that, and then they addthe pillow top on the bottom so you can flip it overwhen you change your mattress,
so now mattresses havebig bottoms, thanks nicki minaj. everybody's about--so anyway, we got a mattress,and this is true, the mattress is so tall,we have to use a six-foot ladder to get into, that's halfway,and then we take an elevator to get the rest. true story. we got our mattress from a placecalled mattress firm,
and i'm telling you that becausei really love this store, and they said if i mentionedtheir name, i'd get a mattress for free,so... mattress firm, mattress firm,mattress firm. mattress firm. mattress firm, mattress firm. now i have more bedsfor my house. anyway, here's what we discussedwhile we were there. they told me thata good night's sleep
is important for your physicalhealth, stress levels, and overall quality of life. and i said, "thanks,"and i started to leave, and they said, "wait.one more thing." mattress firm will help you findthe right mattress at the lowest price so you cansleep healthy or they'll give youyour money back. and i said, "thank you so much.i'll see you later." and they said, "hey, justbecause you can keep a mattress
forever doesn't mean youshould." and i said, "mrs. firm,i need to go. "i have a cab waiting outside. why are you telling meall this?" and you're not going to believewhat they said they want to do. mattress firm wants to giveeveryone in my audience their own beautyrest mattress, so you allare going to get one. [pop music playing]